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I read stories of couples who chatted online for months before flying from California to Georgia, Michigan to Washington, Ohio to Peru, Cyprus to Lebanon to see each other for the first time. Maybe it was the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon —that effect where, when you first learn about something, you see it everywhere—but suddenly I learned that lots of people I knew had this same story. My childhood neighbor from New Jersey, recently divorced, met her Syracuse boyfriend through the phone game Wordfeud.

He was a software developer living in Australia. They messaged online for over two years before he booked a flight to meet her in Maryland and eventually moved into an apartment with her in Brooklyn. Online-dating companies are privy to the fact that people use chag for travel. Last year, Tinder launched a paid feature called Passport that lets people swipe on members anywhere in the world. And Scruff, medt dating app for gay chay, has a section called Scruff Venture that helps users coordinate travel plans and connect with host members in foreign countries.

To me, someone who hates first dates, this sounds great. Meer like the idea of going on a date with someone after you get to know them.

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Another daate of long-distance online dating is that flirting starts in brain space, not physical space. Four years ago, she says got fed up with the men in San Francisco, where she lived. She found them too distracted, work-obsessed, and unwilling to commit. An introspective introvert, she found she liked dating like this since it let her form an emotional connection with men before char complications of a physical meet-up. One explanation suggested by his work is that long-distance daters tend to idealize their relationships.

But having the distance could open up new relationship opportunities. She saw him in person for the first time in the basement of a teahouse, where he was sitting in lotus position, waiting for her, meditating.

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